9 Thanks for Mom

Over the last 2 years, or 104 weekends, I have spent at least 85 weekends in an ER, Hospital Room, or Skilled Nursing Facility with my parents. That’s about 81% for you stat geeks. (Johnny has spent a boatload of time here, too) Dad’s journey ended a year ago March and Mom’s journey is slowly making a turn. Today, November 20^th, I checked her into VNA Hospice in Valpo. I know that many of you have been on similar journeys, and for more time. It’s arduous, taxing, draining and a host of other adjectives. It would be easy to dwell in the cellar of despair, but Mom will have no despair. While I have no idea when Mom begins her next journey, her journey here is on the horizon, going away. I know that I am thankful for a lifetime of her generosity. The blog is focused on what I am thankful for, from my Mom. I will read this to Mom sans any gallows humor I have inserted.

1. Giving Me A Little Brother: Mom has given me a lot of things, but my life would be less without Johnny. Mom made sure that we looked out for each other and for 53 years we have been side-by-side. Evidently at the age of two, I took the Sears wishbook and dialed the number, and tried to order a brother from the kid’s section. While I’m sure Dad contributed, I got the coolest brother. This doesn’t mean we don’t fight (we are boys, duh) but never step between us, just ask poor Andy who we ran over with my Purple Ranger and Johnny’s Orange Crate bikes after he tried to broker peace. That’s all Mom. I am so thankful for a priceless gift of a younger brother.
2. Love of Music : She exposed me to so much music and it is part of the tapestry that is Maria Bratsakis. Every colorful thread of that tapestry reflected into me. She put up with me playing tuba while I learned “Misty” for her and dad. She got Dizzy Gillespie, the Joffrey and a host of other great acts to our little hamlet of Valparaiso. She showed up to every concert and supported me through auditions, regardless of result. She also went to wrestling matches and football games, although I don’t think she looked while we were wrestling. I am so thankful for a song in my heart…or earworm…that I have everyday.
3. Love of Art: Mom had mad art skillz!. When were in Cooks Corners Elementary, mom would draw silhouettes of all the neighborhood kids and cut them out on black construction paper, then she would glue the silhouette to white paper. Very Victorian but way cool. She wasn’t just limited to silhouettes, she would do colored pencil drawings too. While she was part of a zillion art initiatives, she got focused on the new art museum at Valparaiso University. Eventually, she would develop the same sort of cynicism I had: VU leadership. Her team got the Dick Brauer Museum built and it still stands today. Mom would show me art books (the Andrew Wyeth one being the most impactful), introduce me to various types of art, along with Aunt Janet Sullivan (Jan’s Art Barn Janet) and all that just fell over me. My art tastes are more eclectic and Pop than mom’s, yet I am forever thankful for being submerged in such a colorful palate growing up.
4. Big Heart: No one has a bigger heart than my Mom. Regardless of the obstacle thrown in Mom’s way, she somehow finds a way to grow flowers in otherwise infertile ground. Only when her parents died did I see Mom break. In fact, though her propensity to love never faltered, she hasn’t been the same since.
5. Goofy Body: I was born with two feet, two ankles and an ass. When Mom and Dad assembled me, they forgot the legs. Not sure why I’m thankful for that because buying pants for a 26” inseam is really hard…let’s skip that 😊
6. Love of Cooking: Mom is an awesome cook. She would cook traditional Greek, Julia Childs or Irma Rombauer (Joy of Cooking) from the time we were little. Plus, a good old American steak with potatoes and salad was a big hit. It wasn’t just the cooking though, it was the tables. Mom would have the dining room table seasonably decorated and always welcoming. Everyone was invited to the table – especially around the holidays, and our friends who had nowhere to go, or liked Mom’s cooking better, were always invited. I am thankful that her empathy was magnified and communicated through food.
7. Hazel Eyes: Mom gave me hazel eyes, big deal, except that one doesn’t work. I’m thankful that I was brought up where it was never a disability and could never be used for an excuse. It was hard going through school with coke bottle bottom glasses but mom made sure I tried to see only good. Sure, I suck at basketball, I’m 5’10” and Greek, those aren’t genetics for basketball. Today, I am thankful because I only see the colors of life.
8. God and Family: Mom made sure we got to church, except on Pop Warner Football Sundays, and that the faith was a central part of our day. Every morning before school we would face an icon of the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus say a prayer. I still use parts of the prayer in my daily life: “Let those who don’t care for me see in the light of those who love me.” And “Keep a still mind and a burning heart…” are still part of my lexicon. I am thankful for the God being at the center of our lives.
9. When I was 5, Mom slipped at the top of the stairs heading to the basement, basically hitting each of the 13 stairs with laundry in her hand as her head smacked the cold, grey cement basement floor which stopped her fall. I stood at the top of stairs, Mom motionless at the base. I grabbed our yellow wall hanging rotary phone, dialed the “O” for operator and told the operator what happened. I then protected the entrance, so Johnny wouldn’t see mom helpless. I waited till help arrived. I am thankful that it took 50 years before I have to stand at another staircase in life over Mom.