Working Out At 50 - 10 Fitness Thoughts

Working Out At 50 - 10 Fitness Thoughts

With a 3 Paragraph Preamble

Journey, AC/DC and Montrose were blaring on the 8-Track on the way to wrestling practice in Jeff Neeley’s red car. We would put on our smelly grey or blue gym shorts and hit the weight room, run four miles, wrestle around on the mat for a few hours and lance a boil with a pocket knife. We would sweat, smell and lose weight on a daily basis. Life was simpler then.

Today it is much different with a few things the same– first my body is simply a gelatinous mass that moves on its own, not the 162 pound machine it was from 1978 to 1983. At 51 I am tired and stressed from work. I would prefer to chase photography, read Voltaire In Exile (it’s 1,000 pages without pictures…it will be a while anyway), play my 1968 Sunburst American made Fender Telecaster and explore a city. However, somewhere along the way you realize a cold is not a cold…it could be death. So, after hearing my friend, Mike, talk about his brother’s heart attack at 53 (Mike explained how they opened him up and found that diabetes had ravaged his body). I knew a change was required. My two best friends are my wife, the Love Goddess, and my little brother Johnny, the only child. I need to stay healthy for them. The alternative can’t be my legacy.

I’m a Type 2 Diabetic because I let myself go to hell. I’m here because of me. It’s been a three year pogrom that is still evolving. I am roughly 20 pounds away from my eventual goal. My glucose readings have been cut in half and my blood pressure has dropped considerably. Here is what I have learned along the way:

1. - Girls Are Different – Duh, but my good friend Nicki got Alexis and I working out. She would have those bootcamp workouts. I was the only guy. The women all made me feel welcome and would high-five each other after each rep. It’s like High Fiving myself after every paragraph. It’s fine but different…

2.  - Music Part 1– The music in those early days – Miley Cyrus, Eminem & whatever else were just too saccharin from the old 8 Track days. My playlist has Santana, Sam & Dave, CeeLo, Johnny Winter, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray, Imelda May. I just couldn’t get it going the same way with that other stuff. Plus the songs time my workout.

 

3. - Zumba is For Girls – I have always been invited and felt welcome at the Zumba classes I’ve attended. However, I am a gelatinous mass. Women have control over certain muscles that men don’t (that works on two levels doesn’t it). Women shake their money maker and I’m making $2.74 in change.

4. - MyFitnesspal – Nicki got me started on this online/phone app and it has been the only time in my life when I recorded my food journal. Virtually every food you try, including Greek cookies like Kourabiedes or Koulourakia is listed. Better yet, it’s free. It’s indispensable on my journey to less gelatinousness. I highly recommend it.

 

5. - FitBit – Simply the best pedometer and software. Works with myfitnesspal and tracks everything. Since it updates myfitnesspal automatically it really helps me stay on track. It also doesn’t set of metal detectors at the airport…very cool.

 

6. - Simplify Nutrition –Do I watch calories, sodium, carbs or sugar? Ask 100 people and you will get 16 different answers. I was pretty confused. Kirstin is the nutrition specialist that really helped. She said “Control one.” I have chosen calories and that has seemed to help. Also eat three meals and don’t skip. I have gone from 2,500 calories to 1,700 calories and I may drop that down soon, but I am still losing and finally have a semi-workout routine so…not yet.

7. - Fitness Center Not Gym – I work out at a fitness center where they have Purell to clean and sanitize your workout area. What? Did Rocky have sanitizer when he chased that chicken or did the one armed push-ups? Clubber Lang used a towel to do pull-ups. Louden Swain sweat climbing the peg wall in Visionquest. Purell? WTF! I comply but….just…I give up.

 

8. - Cartoon People are still Cartoon People. Cartoon People are the ones who sculpt there body and have to let everyone know with a primal scream or exhale after every rep. (Others just work out and sculpt there body…they are cool). My favorite story actually is about the Only Child and Jabo. They had just gone to college and were working out at the Fitness Barn. A Cartoon Character was working out. When he was done the Only Child asked for help with the weights. The Cartoon Character said he would remove the weights, the Only Child replied, “Take away? I need another 50 lbs on each side.” Classic. They are still annoying.

 

9. - Jock Straps Were Cheaper – I now need compression shorts, compression shirts and no cotton. Huh? No cotton? Polyester? I thought Poly Ester was a Pi Phi that I…um she was a Pi Phi. I know these synthetic compression clothes lets your body breathe and holds everything in better. Still, a jock is like $7 – compression shorts are $65. I could almost live with that but no cotton? I’ll look less fashionable, sweat and stay retro in my cotton t-shirt and sweatshirt. Plus, in all that skin tight stuff, I would look like a Polish Sausage with a Lycra casing. There are options to cover up, use them. Please.

 

10. -    Music 2 – Last night I was working out at the Fitness Center. It is small with treadmills, bikes and weightlifting machines on one side and an open area for classes on the other side. The center has a dated but huge Sony boom box for the classes. You can use the Sony IF you are the only person in the gym or you get permission from others at the fitness center. I have already mentioned my rock and soul playlist. A married couple put on “The Message” on Sirrius XM. They played it louder than the music in my headphones. It was this sappy, folk guitar crap. I have nothing against Christian music but at the gym, oops, fitness center, so loud? At the pause between songs on my iPod I kept hearing a moan from the radio that sounded as if Vince Gill stepped on Amy Grant during child birth. AAArrrrrrrrgghhhh – I wanted to punch them back to Orthodoxy. It was so annoying and disrespectful. I stayed above it but….

So there you have it. My health journey so far – I hope to see you 20 pounds less from now.