Saturday, January 18, 2014

Europa Thoughts 11-19




11.     Anything cold is challenging except for champagne. Air conditioning is different in France, and all of Europe, as we would learn. Our hotel rooms never got cold, but one of the neatest parts of the day was in the afternoon. The hotel would put out a silver bucket with a script insignia. Inside the bucket were 4 bottles of champagne: One was a rose` champagne, another amber, and two, well, champagne colored. The bottles were tilted on the side of the bucket, sweating with condensation around the regal insignia that had the crossed flags, a taloned, winged creature and a banner at the bottom. It was in French, so I have no clue what it said.  Since, champagne is French, I’m in Paris, it’s warm…I tried all 4! Mmmmmmm. I don’t care for rose` champagne in the states and it sucks in France, too. However, the champagne colored champagne was dry, bubbly and delicious. That is French air conditioning….champagne. Since I was the only guy there, the staff loved me. Oooooh lala! My kind of air conditioning. 

Cheesey Picture!


 12.     Cheese and wine all day, baby! Gotta love the French. My eating schedule got totally screwed up starting in France. However, the greatest surprise was getting to eat cheese and bread every afternoon and then some. While this would turn into a daily occurrence throughout Europe, it started here….so the French get the credit today.

 13.     Turning into a child. Growing up, my Papou (grandfather) would regale me with stories about ancient Greece and its impact on the world. After all, Greece is the center of the universe. Papou’s teaching wouldn’t stop at just Greece. He would talk about history’s great minds, and the Greek influence. Mom, who spoke French, would also tell tales of France. My Yiayia and Papou had taken me to Greece in the 6th grade. I remember every moment of that trip even though it was the summer of 1972 or 1973. I actually took French lessons from Mrs. Iatridis, an Egyptian Greek. When she went to Paris, all I wanted was a red beret. (It was ixnayed by a mother who shall remain nameless, Mom.) Now I’m walking the streets by the Cannon Monument, (with Baby Napoleon on top…oops he was just short) by racks of red, blue, black and purple berets. I realize the beret from North Beach, San Francisco, where the great Beat Poets spewed their verse means a whole lot more to me. (That beret is hidden by the Love Goddess. It is black.) The reason all of this is important is that somewhere, whether it was getting lost walking around, enjoying my wine and pecorino cheese, seeing artwork and masterpieces every day, I was sliding into that moment of dreaming what it would be like in Paris…and I’m here. 

Hotel Biron

Balzac and his pile.


14.     The Rodin Museum was great, very tactile and open. François-Auguste-René Rodin is, in my little cultural dojo, one of the greatest sculpturers (is that a word?) ever. I was formally introduced to Rodin’s work when I went to Philadelphia. I was on my way to run up the stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. These are the stairs that Rocky ran up and, like Rocky, raise my hands in victory when I accidently came across Rodin’s museum. It was hard to miss the Thinker pondering, “Why the hell am I in Philadelphia?” So I decided to check out the rest and there it was, the Gates of Hell. Based on Dante’s Inferno (an all-time favorite book) figures are struggling to get out of the bronze block as if someone has put a piece of cellophane over their face. Over 180 struggling people damned to a circle of hell. Rodin, from this point forward, has had my full attention.

Rocky at the top of the stairs.

 
Seamus and the Thinker.  Mitch G insists this is not the original Thinker. The picture above is the Thinker done by Rodin AND at Rodin's house. Seamus was added.


 
Sculpture of Seamus - #48 on your tour phone.
Up late one night with nothing on Skinamax and Alexis asleep, I came across a movie with Isabelle Adjani and Gerard Depardieu called Camille Claudel. Subtitled, the movie is the biography of Camille Claudel who was apprentice, artist/craftsman, muse and lover to Rodin. Oh yeah, Rodin was married. It’s a great movie. The movie took place at Hotel Birron, and then suddenly I am here! 

Movie Poster

 The museum was his home (Hotel Biron), a white brick, two-story mansion (by today’s standards). It has three peaks, with the middle section double the size of the two flanking peaks. It is perfectly symmetrical, which is ironic because Rodin is absolutely asymmetrical. Walking into the left section we are immediately greeted by sculptures with a green-black patina and some soft white sculptures. Honore de Balzac grabbed my attention because he was naked with, at first glance, a pile of poop from the floor to his butt. St. John the Baptist was also there. As we walked through the museum I was struck at how it was so tactile, getting right up on the sculptures, people taking pictures. The experience was fun and different. (Unlike the gestapo/stazi volunteers in Dusseldorf).

Gates of Hell Close-Up.

Seamus workin' the ladies like Hanako above.


The Kiss sculpture was there but the sculpture that captured the most passion to me was called “The Mature Age”. A young woman is on her knees, reaching with an outstretched hand to an older man’s hand yet not touching. The older man is standing with his left hand to the young woman, but on his right shoulder is an old woman, her right arm in control of his, glaring at the old man. The old man looks to the ground, his head tilted toward the old woman, a look of resignation is on his face. Wow, then you learn that Camille Claudel likely did the work and you realize two things: 1) That’s Rodin, his wife and hot, younger lover. 2) Camille Claudel was the Alanis Morrissette of the 1880s and 1890s. Wicked cool! 

The Mature Age
15.     You're not in America, they watch but don't suckle to your nipple. I would love to blame another nationality, but unfortunately we Americans can be a boorish pain in the ass. Speaking loudly in a restaurant, in the third person, does not help get better service. Every meal is an event. It’s a huge departure from ‘fast food’ America. The waiters are watching for a break in the action. They want to see if you are done eating and talking, then they will visit the table. I noticed it more than the Love Goddess. 

16.     Yes they speak English, but it is a second language and they don't speak slang. Along the same lines as #15. The Parisians that we came across would speak English, but it is a second language. Jokes with words don’t translate which explains the French Jerry Lewis phenomenon.  
17.     ‘Bunny ears’ are funny in any language. I have two bad habits that are fun. 1) If you leave your camera unattended I take a selfie. 2) I love giving unsuspecting photographers bunny ears when they are taking a picture. Typically, the people smile and laugh in the picture. People laugh at that here in the States and they do in France too. Laughter is the world’s universal language.18.     All these people can't be skinny! Where are the fat people? Holy Crap! I’m walking down the street in St. Germaine and I realize I could fit four French people in my khaki pants, two in each pant leg. Is there a farm in Provence where they send the fat people to the Charles André Joseph Marie de Gaulle Camp for the Non-Skinny? 

No fat people, couples in a variety of mixes.
  18.     Couples come in all shapes, sizes and age combinations. Everybody loves everybody. It was cool to see such diversity in every relationship. The common element was passion for each other. I enjoyed that.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Paris impressions – Section A



Our European Trip + 96 Random Thoughts – Part 2
Paris impressions – Section A

1.     People are nice. “Sooosie Sooosie Soooososie you dumb American” with a scowl and a spit was what I expected the average Parisian would be like. Fortunately, I have been brought up to keep an open mind and what I found was a warm, friendly and oft-smiling people. Laughter was heard on every block. A simple “bonjour” in my wife’s high school French triggered an understanding and helpfulness, check that, an eagerness to help no matter where we were. Everywhere we went, except for the fighting lesbian bistro owners, people were happy to help and laugh. Maybe that's why the French still like Jerry Lewis, simple pratfalls and the contagiousness of laughter. The pace of life is one in where a person must stop, observe, laugh and experience every moment. They love when you attempt speaking French. I used to think ‘merci’ meant ‘thank you’. I was wrong. Merci means a cab driver can keep the change. That language lesson cost me about 20€.

Adelle takes us for a ride! We could stand up the whole time! Our first Parisian :)

2.     Things are expensive. The reason the French government subsidizes the people is because the French can't afford France. Citizenry are given vouchers to restaurants and cafes because they couldn't afford to stay open with such prices (I didn't make this up, I'm not that good.). Paris is a tourist city with lots of visiting Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese and any other Asian nations people that rhyme with cheese. They seemingly have an infinite amount of cash. For the rest of us, a cappuccino is an expensive 8.50€ which is $12.73. Perrier is $5 a bottle and they fizz it right there. I saw multiple 67,000€ watches, and these dudes don't flinch. So just be forewarned and remember rule 1, it's worth every euro or franc, the French were a blast.



Seamus enjoys breakfast for a million franc...it was slightly less.

3.     Evenings are a touch formal. Khakis and a white shirt is low on the acceptable dress code. You can wear down filled hi-tops that are black, or a neon color, with nice clothes because that actually drops you down below the jeans line. It also makes you German. That being said, an evening in Paris must be a stylish one. Armani suits, custom tailored shirts and French cuffs with a woman or man up to 30 years your junior. Every outfit is perfectly tailored and many men wore no socks. Since I haven’t worn socks since 1980, I realize I have been Parisian all this time and didn't know it. I could get used to the look, but there is no way I can wear a scarf. Even in subzero weather it's like I'm allergic. Men shouldn't wear scarves with a sport coat, even if your name is Pierre or Fabio. Just no.
 
4.     French women are beautiful. Everything about them is soft and less than a size 6. Actually, everyone in Paris is skinny. I think they were nice to me because they were concerned I might sit on them and squash them into truffle oil. Back to the point, they can absolutely rock a skirt. Regardless of the length, pencil or pleated, skirt length was always just right. Young, old, in between, confused age, it didn't matter. I realized mademoiselles must have a class on this in third grade thru high school. Parisian women are confidently Franco fashion forward. Sophisticated, sexy, done to perfection. If a woman shows cleavage then Madame Chic won't show leg or vice-versa. Undergarments do not support but are really sexy (please, gravity is a law of nature, observing nature is unavoidable). I can't remember ever thinking soft and sexy but I have an idea now. Underwear serves no other purpose but to tease, and there must have been three lingerie stores per block. It was just goofy and impossible not to notice, plus I'm a guy, as if I would miss those window displays. This is why I have a cadre of friends who still pine for Catherine Deneuve.
Helmut Newton took this picture of guess who, but that is like every Parisian woman only different. I wish I took this picture, I also want to stay married so maybe not.
5.     Perfume is everywhere, so is BO and cigarettes. A guy was even perfuming a furniture store. He was squeezing the little gold, bulbous air pump from the short crystal bottle as perfume spritzed all over a nice distressed, tan, leather sofa. Maybe somebody farted in the distressed, tan, leather sofa, but it was fascinating to watch. Deodorant is not an item that is imported to France. In 17 seconds your olfactory senses were attacked by a smelly man, smoking a pack of Lucky Strikes, bathed in Channel #4. Then a quick respite, lingerie store, smelly woman, smoking a pack of Lucky Strikes, bathed in Channel #5.
6.     Ashtrays in restaurants! How retro. When was the last time you saw a real, amber glass octagon ashtray with four indentations for cigarettes? Totally forgot what that was like, and frankly, I don’t miss the smoking in restaurants. 
7.     Paris is all about looking good and the artsy. There is a sophistication to Paris that I have not seen in any other big city. The closest city like Paris in America is San Francisco. Art is at every turn. A statue here, a hot club jazz band there, a bunch of people painting and thankfully, no mimes. Even the street people had a Benetton green, white and blue striped sweater with a snappy pair of designer jeans.

8.     Paris is expensive...again. Paris IS fun but for crying out loud, does every meal have to start at 50€? Oui! 
Our 60 Euro Breakfast Buffet....Sacre Blu!
 9.     Awesome walking city, the best in the world. Simply the best big city for walking anywhere. Plus, you sure as hell aren't going to drive on the streets. Pure chaos at a green light would not begin to explain the pandemonium at any corner. The good thing is that it is near impossible not to find something of interest. The eco-cabana on the Seine the lock bridge, the Arc Du Collosus at the Louvre  It should also be noted that Paris is the only city that wasn't bombed in World War II. The scars are seen in every European city except Paris. Walking, we would see the Obelisk, the cannon made of the 300 Cannons from the battle of Osterriech with Napoleon as a Roman Emperor on top. We walked 17 miles in one day (Lex is still kind of pissed). 
A Chinese artist. Had a bunch of cool sculptures.

The Lock Bridge...See our lock?

The Cannon Monument

The Obelisk...I like saying that word, Ahhhhhh Behhhh Lissssssssk.

It is the land of the perpetual post card.

The Arc De Triomphe


  •  10.  Days start at 11 and go till whenever they feel like quitting. Dinner is typically at 8 and be prepared for a scrumptious meal to last 2 hours at a minimum. It takes some getting used to! I mean 8pm is when NCIS starts back home.